navy blue Ben Sherman polo。
？R…r…right。？ Nate pulled out of her determined grip； tak…ing a seat at the table。 Hewas kind of
hungry； and the plate of scrambled eggs and lightly browned toast looked sort of tempting； but
even in his early morning stupor； Nate could see where this was headed。 He？d start eating； Babs
would pour him more orange juice she？d just made from the can； ask him to rub more ointment on
her tattoo； then suggest that maybe they should take a soak together in the hot tub that Coach
never stopped talking about。 And before he knew it； she？d handcuff him to her bed and rub the
slimy leftover cantaloupe slices over his naked body or something。
The way to a man？s heart is said to be through his stomach。
The thought of being naked in bed with Babs made Nate pletely nauseated； but he could still
feel a certain longing in the pit of his stomach。 It definitely wasn？t for Babs fluttering around in a
purple nylon robe that was barely long enough to cover her half…fit； half…middle…aged…flabby ass；
though。 It had more to do with the memory of Blair； wearing only the lightest sheen of sweat and
lotion； grinning at him naughtily when he discovered her the day before in his extremely gay
neighbor？s yard。 He？d seen her naked lots of times； but standing there in the broad daylight； her
delicate shoulders a little browner that the rest of her； she？d never looked more beautiful。 He？d
spotted the tiny familiar apple…shaped birthmark on her hip and had had to will himself not to grab
her and kiss it。
？What？s the matter； hon？？ Babs wondered； stepping behind his chair and leaning over him so
that her weirdly hard boobs were sort of rubbing against his upper back。 ？You？re not hungry this
morning？？
Bursting out of his chair as if he？d been electrocuted； Nate？s voice came out much more loudly
than he？d planned： ？You know； I should； um； well； I need to make a telephone call。？
？A phone call？
？Yeah。？ He blushed deeply。 ？Is that okay？ I mean； can I have your permission？ I know I？m
technically on the job and all。？
？You don？t needmy permission；？ she whispered。 ？There？s nothing I would ever forbid you to do；
Nate。Nothing。 ？
？Thanks！？ He practically sprinted out of the kitchen and onto the back deck。 Fumbling in the
deep pocket of his cargo shorts for his Motorola Pebl； he started scrolling through his address
book and quickly dialed the first entry： Anthony Avuldsen； his lacrosse teammate and the guy
who？d already saved him once that summer； when he？d found him…self entangled in a plicated
romance with a hot townie chick who？d turned out to be more trouble than she was worth。
Don？t they all？
Nate was on the verge of hanging up after five rings； when Anthony answered with a friendly；
exaggerated shout。 ？Whassup？？
？Dude。Where are you？？
？On my way to the beach；？ Anthony yelled over the car stereo； blasting AC/DC？s ？Back in Black？
so loud that his phone shook。 ？Can you hang out？？
Nate stared out at the small； shimmering； rectangular…shaped pool and the slightly overgrown
lawn beyond it。 The idea of mowing that grass made him want to cry； the thought of turning
around and going back into that house and getting molested by Babs made him want to hurl。
Talk about a rock and a hard place。
？Hang out；？ Nate repeated slowly。 ？Yeah； let？s do that。 I？m at Coach？s place in the Bays。 Pick
me up？？
？Pick you up？？ screamed Anthony。 ？Cool； yeah； what…ever。 Give me ten minutes。？
Nate shoved the phone back into his pocket and inhaled deeply； steeling his nerves。
？Everything okay？？ Babs opened the sliding glass porch door and trotted outside。 Her purple
robe had e undone and was hanging off her shoulders like a cape； revealing her plicated；
lacy； animal…print underthings。 They reminded Nate of the kind of bathing suit his eccentric
French now…dead grandmother had worn during a family trip to the Turks and Caicos when he was
a kid。
Oh； how alluring！
？I？m actually not feeling that well。？ He wasn？t even lying； really； since the thought of what
might happen if he didn？t get out of there made him feel totally queasy。Wincing in pain？ but
trying not to overdo it？Nate let out a pathetic cough。
？Poor boy；？ she cooed； using one hand to cinch her flimsy robe closed。 She placed her other palm
against his furrowed brow。 ？You do feel a little warm。？
Maternal instinct andBasic Instinct ？what a disturbing mix。
？Yeah。？ he agreed； backing away。 ？I don？t know if I can tackle the lawn today。？
？No； of course not。We should get you out of those clothes and right into bed。 I can make you
some nice herbal？？
？I should really just go；？ Nate interrupted the disturbing quasi…porno scenario Babs was
describing。 He didn？t want to trade her Mrs。 Robinson fantasies for some skanky nurse setup。 ？In
fact； I think I hear my ride outside。？
？You just rest and take it easy；？ Babs cooed。 ？Don？t you worry about work。 I？ll tell Coach you
need a rest。 He？s wearing you down。？
？Thanks Mrs。 M。？ Nate nodded gratefully as he bounded off the porch。 Forgetting that he was
supposed to be sick； he whooped with delight when he heard a car horn and saw Anthony？s black
BMW turn recklessly into the coach？s driveway。Saved。
？You sure you？re just playing sick？？ Anthony momentarily took his eyes off the road to study
Nate； who was sunk low in the cream…colored reclined leather seat； shielding his eyes from the
bright sunlight with his hand。
？No； dude； I？m fine；？ Nate assured him； fiddling with the dashboard vents so that the cool blast
of AC was aimed directly at his face。 ？Babs was just； you know； ing on kind of strong。？
？No shit！？ Anthony laughed； turning down the stereo； which was blaring the latest Reigning
Sound album。 ？This I have to fucking hear。？
？Nothing to hear；？ Nate mumbled； grinning despite him…self。 ？Believe me； it？ll give you
nightmares for fucking weeks。？
Nate stared out the window at the landscape whizzing by： the fields of green grass； the rich blue
sky； the weather…beaten； enormous shingled houses； all of it blurred together； a rush of images he
couldn？t separate into their various parts； almost the same way that the summer had been nothing
but a stream of various moments he couldn？t separate into distinct events。 He sighed。 There was
just something incredibly depressing about realizing that the only memorable moments of the
summer had been a total bust of a party in the city where he？d been abandoned by his date； and
yesterday； when he？d caught Blair and Serena skinny…dipping or whatever the hell they were
doing。
？I saw Blair Waldorf and Serena van der Woodsen naked yesterday；？ Nate announced suddenly；
reaching for the joint he had prerolled and stashed in somebody？s leftover pack of Marlboros that
morning。 He rolled down the window and lit it up。
？Threesome？？ Anthony asked； nodding at Nate to hand him one of the cigarettes。 ？You are one
lucky fucker。？
Nate shook one loose and passed it to his left。 ？Nah；？ he explained； though a very intriguing
mental picture was starting to take shape in his head。
Oh； really？
？They were； like； skinny…dipping in my neighbor？s yard；？ he continued； exhaling a cloud of pot
smoke out the window。 ？It was so weird。？
？Skinny…dipping？？ repeated Anthony； deftly lighting his cigarette and making a left turn at the
same time。 ？No shit。？
？Blair； man； she？s just 。 。 。？ Nate trailed off as the image of Blair； naked； a little sweaty； laughing
at him； clouded his vision。 He just wanted to hold her again。
？I hear you； dude；？ Anthony agreed； nodding vigorously。 ？I mean； you？ve got； like； athing。 And
it？s ourlast summer。 It？s like 。 。 。 fucking carpe fucking diem； right？？
？Carpe diem。。。。？Nate pondered this。 Seize the day。 He took another deep drag and swallowed；
closing his eyes。Carpe fucking diem。 What an idea。 It was downright 。 。 。 inspiring。 He turned and
smiled appreciatively at Anthony。 He was a genius。
Or maybe he was just high？
？Seriously； man；？ Anthony continued； holding the roach。 ？I？ve been telling you； haven？t I？ It？s
time to get serious about having a good time。？
Nate nodded。 Itwas time for him to get serious about having a good time。 Fuck Coach Michaels
and his horny wife； fuck the lawn； and fuck responsibility。 He was going to seize the fucking day。
And maybe someone else； too。
the lost art of letter writing
FROM： Steve N。
TO：
Subject： Re： Announcing Inaugural Meeting；
Song of Myself （Manhattan）
Date： 9 July； 16：37：07
To whom it may concern：
It was with great delight that I read your announcement。 I desperately want to be surrounded by
like…minded peers who are as passionately devoted to the power of the written word as I am。
In the spirit of true iconoclasm； I decline to answer any of your questions。 I suspect that you？re
only really interested in independent spirits who aren？t willing to submit to your silly queries。 Rest
assured； I live by the book and I shall die by the book。
Regards；
Steve
？
FROM： Cassady Byrd
TO：
Subject： Re： Announcing Inaugural Meeting；
Song of Myself （Manhattan）
Date： 9 July； 20：04：39
I couldn？t believe it when I saw your posting。 Right on； motherfuckers！ I？m really looking
forward to getting together and talking 。 。 。 maybe more！！！！
My fave verb is ？to love。？ My least fav verb is ？to hate。？ You？re gonna hate how much you love
me。 Burp！
My pic is attached。 。 。 。
xoxo
CB （aka Charlotte Bront？）
？
FROM： Bosie
TO：
Subject： Re： Announcing Inaugural Meeting；
Song of Myself （Manhattan）
Date： 9 July； 22：31：14
Saw your ad。 Violently intrigued。
My favorite books：
The Picture of Dorian Gray；Oscar WildeInterview with the Vampire； Anne Rice
Favorite movie：Party Monster starring Macaulay Culkin
Favorite song： ？Walk on the Wild Side？ by Lou Reed
Favorite word： Bite
Least favorite word： Choke
I bit him and choked。
As you can see from my pic； I？m a guy who likes