time enough for love-时间足够你爱(英文版)- 第125部分

　　
　　Lazarus　decided　to　break　cover。　〃I　love　you；　Maureen。〃
　　
　　〃I　love　you；　Theodore。　In　spite　of　my　tears；　you　have　made　me　happy。　By　letting　me　unburden　myself…and　I　should　not　have；　you　are　going　to　war；　too。　I　feel　almost　married　to　you　now；　by　telling　you　things　I　haven't　been　able　to　talk　about　with　anyone　else。　If　you　had　put　me　on　the　grass　and　had　me
　　
　　…it　would　have　been　sweet　and　just　what　I　planned。　But　this　is　even　closer。　And　sweeter。　A　woman　can　open　her　body　to　a　man　without　opening　her　mind。　I　had　two　babies　by　Brian
　　
　　第78节
　　
　　…　before　I　learned　to　open　my　mind　to　him　the　way　I　have　to　you　tonight。〃
　　
　　〃Perhaps　our　minds　are　much　alike；　Maureen。　Your　father　thinks　we　are　cousins。〃　…
　　
　　〃No；　he　doesn't；　darling；　he　thinks　you're　my　half　brother。〃
　　
　　〃Did　he　say　that？〃
　　
　　〃And　I　think　so；　too。　By　things　Father　did　not　say；　dea…r　Theodore。　By　how　broken　up　he　was　when　he　misunderstood　you　about　your　intention　to　enlist。　By　the　way　he　insisted　that　we　must　claim　a　service　star　for　you。　I　feel　sure　he　is　right
　　
　　and　I　want　to　believe　it。　Yes；　that　makes　what　I　tried　to　do　to　you　dreadfully　sinful　in　some　people's　eyes。　Incest。　I　did　not　care　a　whit。　Since　I'm　pregnant；　it　could　not　possibly　cause　harm　to　a　baby　。　。　and　that's　the　only　thing　that　could　make　incest　wrong。〃　…
　　
　　（How　to　tell　her？　How　much　to　tell　her？　But　I　must　make　her　believe　me。）　〃Your　church　would　call　it　sinful。〃
　　
　　〃I　don't　give　a　fig　for　the　church！　Theodore；　I'm　not　devout；　I'm　a　freethinker；　like　Father。　Church　is　a　good　atmosphere　for　children…and　gives　me　a　proper　appearance　as　a　respectable　wife　and　mother…that's　all！　'Sin'　would　not　stop　me；　I　don't　believe　in　sin　the　way　the　church　means　it。　Sex　isn't　sin；　sex　is　never　sin。　What　would　stop　me　would　be　a　chance　of　getting　pregnant　by　someone　other　than　Brian…but　I　am　pregnant。　That　you　are　my　half　brother　didn't　cause　…　me　a　woment's　fret；　it　just　made　me　more　anxious　to　tell　you　a　warrior's　good…bye。〃
　　
　　…　〃Maureen；　I'm　not　your　half　brother。〃
　　
　　〃Are　you　sure？　Even　if　you're　not；　you　are　still　my　warrior
　　
　　…I　was　as　proud　as　Father　when　you　volunteered。〃
　　
　　〃I'm　your　warrior；　be　sure　of　that。　But　1　need　to　know　something。　This　man　Nancy　may　marry…　Is　he　a　Howard？'
　　
　　〃What　did　you　say？〃
　　
　　〃Is　he　on　the　approved　list　of　the　Ira　Howard　Foundation？〃
　　
　　He　heard　her　catch　her　breath。　〃Where　did　you　hear　of　the　Foundation？'　…
　　
　　〃'Life　is　short…'〃…　…
　　
　　〃'But　the　years　are　long；'　〃　she　answered。
　　
　　'Not　〃While　the　Evil　Days　e　Not。〃'〃
　　
　　〃Goodness！　I…　I　think…I'm　going　to　cry　again！〃
　　
　　〃Stop　it。　What　is　the　young　man's　name？〃
　　
　　…〃Jonathan　Weatheral。〃
　　
　　〃…of　the　Weatheral…Sperling　line。　Yes；　I　remember。　…Maureen；　I　am…　not　'Ted　Bronson。'　I　am　Lazarus　Long　of　the　Johnson　Family。　Your　family。　I　am　descended　from　you。〃
　　
　　For　…several　moments　she　seemed　not　to　breathe。　Then　she　said　softly；　〃I　think　I　am　losing　my　mind。〃　…
　　
　　〃No；　my　gallant　love；　you　have　as　strong　and　sane　a　mind　as　I　have　ever　met。　Let　me　explain　because　I…　must　tell　you
　　
　　…　something　and　you　must　believe　me。　Have　you　read　a　novel　by　Mr。　Herbert　George　Wells　called　The…　Time　Machine？〃
　　
　　〃Why；　yes。　Father　has　a　copy。〃
　　
　　〃That's　me；　Maureen。　Captain　Lazarus　Long；　Time　Traveler。〃　…
　　
　　〃But　that　book…　I　thought　it　was　just　a　。　。　a…〃　〃Just　a　story。　It　is。　But　it　won't　stay　that　way。　Oh；　not　quite
　　
　　the　way　Mr。　Wells　visualized　it。　But　that's　what　I　am；　a　visitor　from　a　future　time。　I　didn't　intend　to　let　anyone　suspect　this；　that's　why　I　claimed　to　be　a　foundling。　Not　only　is　it　hard　to　psove；　but　any　attempt　would　interfere　with　my　purpose
　　
　　…which　is　simply　to　visit　this　time　and　observe　it。　Might　even
　　
　　…　get　…　me　locked　up　as　crazy。　So　I've　been　careful　to　keep　my　mask　…　on；　as…　careful　as…well；　as　you　are；　In　talking　to　those
　　
　　…　Simpsons。　In　not　letting　your　children　see　you　cry。　You　and　I　do　it　the　same　way。　Audacity　。　。　plus　never　telling　lies　we　can　be　caught　in。〃
　　
　　〃Theodore；　I　think　you　believe　this。〃
　　
　　〃Meaning　that　I　sound　sincere　but　must　be　crazy。〃　〃No；　no；　dear；　I…　Yes；　that's　what　I　meant。　I'm　sorry；〃　〃No　reason　to　be　sorry；　it　does　sound　crazy。　But　I'm　not
　　
　　afraid　that　you　will　have　me　sent　to　St。　Joe；　I'm　as　safe…　with　you　as　you　are　with　me。　But　I　must　find　some　way　to　convince…　you　that　I　am　telling　the　truth　。　。　because　I　am　about
　　
　　…　to　tell　you　something　you　must　believe。　Or　I　have　dropped~　mymask　to　no　point。〃　…
　　
　　He　stopped　to　think。　How　to　prove　it？　ome　prediction？　It　would　have　to　be　very　short　range　to…　serve　the　only　purpose　he　had　in　breaking　cover。　But　he　hadn't　briefed　himself　on
　　
　　this　year；　he　hadn't　intended　to　arrtve　until　1919　and　kneu　so　little　about　the　years　before　1919　that　he　had　even　mixel　up　the　date　that　the　United　States　got　into　…　this　war。　Lazarus　damn　your　sloppy　ways；　the　next　time　you　make　a　time　tril　you're　going　to　memorize　everything　about　the　era　thai
　　
　　…　Athene　can　give　you…and　a　wide　margin　on　both　sides！
　　
　　Woodie's　memories　were　no　help；　Lazarus　did　not　ever　recall　having　been　taken　to　Electric　Park　by　a　sergeant　ir　uniform。　Self…centered　brat！　Electric　Park　he　remembered　Woodie　Smith　had　gone　there　many　times。　But　no　visit　stooc　out　in　his　mind。　…
　　
　　〃Maureen；　maybe　you　can　think　of　some　way　I　can　provc　to　you　that　I'm　from　the　future…something　that　will　con　vince　you。　But　this　is　why　I　had　to　tell　you：　Brian…your　hus~　band；　my　ancestor…will　e　back　unharmed。　He's　going　tc　go　through　battles。　Shells　will　fall　around　him；　shots　wif　whistle　past　his　ears…but　none　will　touch　him。〃
　　
　　Mrs。　Smi~gasped。　Then　she　said　slowly；　〃Theodore　h~doyouk~v1〃
　　
　　〃Because　you　two　are　my　ancestors。　I　couldn't　memorize　the　Foundation's　records　on　all　the　Howards　…of　today　but　I　did　study　the　files　on　my　own　ancestors；　ones　I　might　have　a　chance　to　meet。　You。　Brian。　Brian's　parents　in　Cincinnati。　And　I　figured　out　that　Brian　must　have　met　you　because　he　had　attended　Rolla；　then　found　you　on　a　Missouri　list　of　eligibles…not　the　Ohio　list…that　the　Foundation　gave　him。　That's　certainly　something　I　didn't　learn　from　you　or　Brian　or　Ira；　and　your　children　probably　don't　know　it。　Well；　perhaps　Nancy　does；　she's　fflle4　out　her　own　questionnaire。　Hasn't　she？〃
　　
　　〃Why；　yes；　months　ago。　Then　it　is　true；　Theodore。　Or　should　I　call　you　'Lazarus'？〃
　　
　　〃Call　me　anything~you　like；　darling。　But　I　still　haven't　proved　anything。　Just　that　I　have　had　access　to　the　Foundation's　files…which　might　have　been　last　year；　not　in　the　future。　We're　still　looking　for　proof。　Mmm　。　。　I　know　a　proof　for　a　few　months　from　now…but　I　must　make　you　believe　me　tonight。　So　you　will　have　no　more　tears　on　your　pillow。　And　I　don't　know　how。〃
　　
　　He　caressed　her　thighs；　tpuched　her　curls。　〃Here　inside　you　is　proof　that　won't　show　up　in　time。　This　last　baby　Brian　put　into　your　sweet　belly…　He's　a　boy；　dearest　ancestress；　and　you　and　Brian　will　name　him　'Theodore　Ira'…whi~h~　flatters　me　enormously。　When　I　read　his　name　in　the　records；　I　didn't
　　
　　…　know　that　he　was　my　namesake；…as　I　hadn't　picked　my　assumed　name　then。〃
　　
　　She　squeezed　his　hand　with　her　thighs　and　sighed。　〃I　want　to　believe　you。　But　suppose　Brian　wants　to　name　him　Joseph？　Or　Josephine？〃
　　
　　〃'Josephine'　is　not　a　name　for　a　boy。　Darling；　Brian　will　name　his　war　baby　for　the　other　two　stars　on　your　service　flag；　this　war　means　a　lot　to　him。　He'll　probably　suggest　it　himself
　　
　　…I　don't　know。　I　just　know　that　'Theodore　Ira'　is　the　name　you　will　register　with　the…　Foundation。　My　other　ancestors…　Adele　Johnson；　of　course；　your　mother　and　Ira's　wife。　Lives　in　St。　Louis。　Left　him　around　the　time　you　got　married　but　didn't　divorce　him…which　probably　irked　him；　I　don't　think　Ira　is　a　man　to　be　celibate　simply　because　his　wife　leaves　but　won't　turn　him　loose。〃
　　
　　〃He's　not；　dear。　I'm　certain　Father　has　a…well；　a　？istress；　and　goes　to　see　her　some　nights　when　he　is　supposed　to　be　at　that　'chess　club'…and　it's　not　a　chess　club；　it's　a　pool　hail。　I　go　along　with　the　pretense　because　he　calls　it　that　in　…front　of　the　children。〃
　　
　　〃He　does　play　chess　there。〃
　　
　　〃Father　plays　a　fine　game　of　billiards；　too。　Go　ahead；　darling…Lazarus。　I'm　willing　to　believe。　Maybe　we'll　find　some…　thing。〃
　　
　　〃Well；　I　don't　think　I'll　look　up　your　mother；　I　don't　think　I　would　get　along　with　a　woman　who　thinks　sex　is　something　to　'put　up　with。'〃　…
　　
　　〃I　got　along　with　Mother　only　by　lying　to　her。　Father　reared　me　far　more　than　she　did。　I　was　his　favorite。　He　let　it　show；　which　is　why　I'm　careful　not　to　let　it　show　with　Woodrow。　Go　on；　Theodore。　Lazarus。〃
　　
　　〃That's　all　of　my　ancestors　you　are　related　to。　Except　one。　Our　stowaway。　Maureen；　I'm　descended　from　you　and　Brian　through　Wodie。〃
　　
　　She　gasped。　〃Really？　Oh；　I　hope　it's　true！〃
　　
　　〃True　as　taxes；　beloved。　And　it　may　have　saved　his　life。　I've　never　been　closer　to　infanticide　than　I　was　when　we
　　
　　found　him　in　the　back　seat。〃…
　　
　　She　giggled。　〃Darling；　I　felt　the　same　way。　But　I　won't；　let　anger　show　in　my　voice　even　if　I'm　about　to　switch　a　child。〃
　　
　　〃I　hope　I　didn't　show　anger。　But　I　felt　it。　Beloved；　I　was　so　hard　I　ached…until　we　found　Woodrow。　Honey　love；　I　was　rarin'　to　go　I〃
　　
　　…〃And　I　was　just　as　ready！　Oh；　Theodore…Lazarus…it's　sc
　　
　　…　sweet　to　be　open　with　you。　Uh　。　；　yes；　you're　…quite　harr　now。〃　…
　　
　　〃Easy　there！…~…don't　make　me　climb　the　curb。　I　have…　beei　ever　since　we　left　the　house　except　when　I　forced　it　down　But　the　one　Woodie　ruined　was　bigger　and　better。〃
　　
　　〃Size　isn't　important；　Theodore…Lazarus；　a　woman　must　fi　any　size。　Father　told　me　that　long　ago　and　taught　me　exercise　for　it…and　I　never　told　Brian；　I　let　him　think　that　was　simply　how　I　am…and　accepted　his　pliments　smugly。　I　stil　exercise　regularly…because　my　birth　canal　has　been　stretcher　again　and　again　and　again　by　babies'　s