首发偶发空缺 (临时空缺)- 第56部分

‘What　was　that　about？’　Gaia　asked。

‘Her　great…gran　was　my　mum’s　patient；　and　she　died；’　said　Sukhvinder。　She　wanted　to　cry　so　much　that　the　muscles　in　her　throat　were　painful。

‘Silly　bitch；’　said　Gaia。

But　Sukhvinder’s　suppressed　sobs　were　born　not　only　from　the　shaky　aftermath　of　fear。　She　had　liked　Krystal　very　much；　and　she　knew　that　Krystal　had　liked　her　too。　All　those　afternoons　on　the　canal；　all　those　journeys　in　the　minibus；　she　knew　the　anatomy　of　Krystal’s　back　and　shoulders　better　than　she　knew　her　own。

They　returned　to　school　with　Jaswant　and　her　friends。　The　best…looking　of　the　boys　struck　up　a　conversation　with　Gaia。　By　the　time　they　had　turned　in　at　the　gates；　he　was　teasing　her　about　her　London　accent。　Sukhvinder　could　not　see　Krystal　anywhere；　but　she　spotted　Fats　Wall　at　a　distance；　loping　along　with　Andrew　Price。　She　would　have　known　his　shape　and　his　walk　anywhere；　the　way　something　primal　inside　you　helped　you　recognize　a　spider　moving　across　a　shadowy　floor。

Wave　upon　wave　of　nausea　rippled　through　her　as　she　approached　the　school　building。　There　would　be　two　of　them　from　now　on：　Fats　and　Krystal　together。　Everyone　knew　that　they　were　seeing　each　other。　And　into　Sukhvinder’s　mind　dropped　a　vividly　coloured　picture　of　herself　bleeding　on　the　floor；　and　Krystal　and　her　gang　kicking　her；　and　Fats　Wall　watching；　laughing。

‘Need　the　loo；’　she　told　Gaia。　‘Meet　you　up　there。’

She　dived　into　the　first　girls’　bathroom　they　passed；　locked　herself　in　a　cubicle　and　sat　down　on　the　closed　seat。　If　she　could　have　died　…　if　she　could　have　disappeared　for　ever　…　but　the　solid　surface　of　things　refused　to　dissolve　around　her；　and　her　body；　her　hateful　hermaphrodite’s　body；　continued；　in　its　stubborn；　lumpen　way；　to　live　…

She　heard　the　bell　for　the　start　of　afternoon　lessons；　jumped　up　and　hurried　out　of　the　bathroom。　Queues　were　forming　along　the　corridor。　She　turned　her　back　on　all　of　them　and　marched　out　of　the　building。

Other　people　truanted。　Krystal　did　it　and　so　did　Fats　Wall。　If　she　could　only　get　away　and　stay　away　this　afternoon；　she　might　be　able　to　think　of　something　to　protect　her　before　she　had　to　go　back　in。　Or　she　could　walk　in　front　of　a　car。　She　imagined　it　slamming　into　her　body　and　her　bones　shattering。　How　quickly　would　she　die；　broken　in　the　road？　She　still　preferred　the　thought　of　drowning；　of　cool　clean　water　putting　her　to　sleep　for　ever：　a　sleep　without　dreams　…

‘Sukhvinder？　Sukhvinder！’

Her　stomach　turned　over。　Tessa　Wall　was　hurrying　towards　her　across　the　car　park。　For　one　mad　moment　Sukhvinder　considered　running；　but　then　the　futility　of　it　overwhelmed　her；　and　she　stood　waiting　for　Tessa　to　reach　her；　hating　her；　with　her　stupid　plain　face　and　her　evil　son。

‘Sukhvinder；　what　are　you　doing？　Where　are　you　going？’

She　could　not　even　think　of　a　lie。　With　a　hopeless　gesture　of　her　shoulders；　she　surrendered。

Tessa　had　no　appointments　until　three。　She　ought　to　have　taken　Sukhvinder　to　the　office　and　reported　her　attempted　flight；　instead；　she　took　Sukhvinder　upstairs　to　the　guidance　room；　with　its　Nepalese　wall…hanging　and　the　posters　for　ChildLine。　Sukhvinder　had　never　been　there　before。

Tessa　spoke；　and　left　inviting　little　pauses；　then　spoke　again；　and　Sukhvinder　sat　with　sweaty　palms；　her　gaze　fixed　on　her　shoes。　Tessa　knew　her　mother　–　Tessa　would　tell　Parminder　that　she　had　tried　to　truant　–　but　if　she　explained　why？　Would　Tessa；　could　Tessa；　intercede？　Not　with　her　son；　she　could　not　control　Fats；　that　was　mon　knowledge。　But　with　Krystal？　Krystal　came　to　guidance　…

How　bad　would　the　beating　be；　if　she　told？　But　there　would　be　a　beating　even　if　she　did　not　tell。　Krystal　had　been　ready　to　set　her　whole　gang　on　her　…

‘…　anything　happened；　Sukhvinder？’

She　nodded。　Tessa　said　encouragingly；　‘Can　you　tell　me　what　it　was？’

So　Sukhvinder　told。

She　was　sure　she　could　read；　in　the　minute　contraction　of　Tessa’s　brow　as　she　listened；　something　other　than　sympathy　for　herself。　Perhaps　Tessa　was　thinking　about　how　Parminder　might　react　to　the　news　that　her　treatment　of　Mrs　Catherine　Weedon　was　being　screamed　about　in　the　street。　Sukhvinder　had　not　forgotten　to　worry　about　that　as　she　had　sat　in　the　bathroom　cubicle；　wishing　for　death。　Or　perhaps　Tessa’s　look　of　unease　was　reluctance　to　tackle　Krystal　Weedon；　doubtless　Krystal　was　her　favourite　too；　as　she　had　been　Mr　Fairbrother’s。

A　fierce；　stinging　sense　of　injustice　burst　through　Sukhvinder’s　misery；　her　fear　and　her　self…loathing；　it　swept　aside　that　tangle　of　worries　and　terrors　that　encased　her　daily；　she　thought　of　Krystal　and　her　mates；　waiting　to　charge；　she　thought　of　Fats；　whispering　poisonous　words　from　behind　her　in　every　maths　lesson；　and　of　the　message　that　she　had　wiped　off　her　Facebook　page　the　previous　evening：

Les…bian…ism　n。　Sexual　orientation　of　women　to　women。　Also　called　Sapphism。　A　native　or　inhabitant　of　Lesbos。

‘I　don’t　know　how　she　knows；’　said　Sukhvinder；　with　the　blood　thrumming　in　her　ears。

‘Knows　…？’　asked　Tessa；　her　expression　still　troubled。

‘That　there’s　been　a　plaint　about　Mum　and　her　great…gran。　Krystal　and　her　mum　don’t　talk　to　the　rest　of　the　family。　Maybe；’　said　Sukhvinder；　‘Fats　told　her？’

‘Fats？’　Tessa　repeated　unprehendingly。

‘You　know；　because　they’re　seeing　each　other；’　said　Sukhvinder。　‘Him　and　Krystal？　Going　out　together？　So　maybe　he　told　her。’

It　gave　her　some　bitter　satisfaction　to　see　every　vestige　of　professional　calm　drain　from　Tessa’s　face。

IX
Kay　Bawden　never　wanted　to　set　foot　in　Miles　and　Samantha’s　house　again。　She　could　not　forgive　them　for　witnessing　Gavin’s　parade　of　indifference；　nor　could　she　forget　Miles’　patronizing　laughter；　his　attitude　to　Bellchapel；　or　the　sneery　way　that　he　and　Samantha　had　spoken　about　Krystal　Weedon。

In　spite　of　Gavin’s　apology　and　his　tepid　assurances　of　affection；　Kay　could　not　stop　picturing　him　nose　to　nose　with　Mary　on　the　sofa；　jumping　up　to　help　her　with　the　plates；　walking　her　home　in　the　dark。　When　Gavin　told　her；　a　few　days　later；　that　he　had　had　dinner　at　Mary’s　house；　she　had　to　fight　down　an　angry　response；　because　he　had　never　eaten　more　than　toast　at　her　house　in　Hope　Street。

She　might　not　be　allowed　to　say　anything　bad　about　The　Widow；　about　whom　Gavin　spoke　as　though　she　were　the　Holy　Mother；　but　the　Mollisons　were　different。

‘I　can’t　say　I　like　Miles　very　much。’

‘He’s　not　exactly　my　best　mate。’

‘If　you　ask　me；　it’ll　be　a　catastrophe　for　the　addiction　clinic　if　he　gets　elected。’

‘I　doubt　it’ll　make　any　difference。’

Gavin’s　apathy；　his　indifference　to　other　people’s　pain；　always　infuriated　Kay。

‘Isn’t　there　anyone　who’ll　stick　up　for　Bellchapel？’

‘Colin　Wall；　I　suppose；’　said　Gavin。

So；　at　eight　o’clock　on　Monday　evening；　Kay　walked　up　the　Walls’　drive　and　rang　their　doorbell。　From　the　front　step；　she　could　make　out　Samantha　Mollison’s　red　Ford　Fiesta；　parked　in　the　drive　three　houses　along。　The　sight　added　a　little　extra　zest　to　her　desire　for　a　fight。

The　Walls’　door　was　opened　by　a　short　plain　dumpy　woman　in　a　tie…dyed　skirt。

‘Hello；’　said　Kay。　‘My　name’s　Kay　Bawden；　and　I　was　wondering　whether　I　could　speak　to　Colin　Wall？’

For　a　split　second；　Tessa　simply　stared　at　the　attractive　young　woman　on　the　doorstep　whom　she　had　never　seen　before。　The　strangest　idea　flashed　across　her　mind：　that　Colin　was　having　an　affair　and　that　his　lover　had　e　to　tell　her　so。

‘Oh　–　yes　–　e　in。　I’m　Tessa。’

Kay　wiped　her　feet　conscientiously　on　the　doormat　and　followed　Tessa　into　a　sitting　room　that　was　smaller；　shabbier　but　cosier　than　the　Mollisons’。　A　tall；　balding　man　with　a　high　forehead　was　sitting　in　an　armchair　with　a　notebook　in　his　lap　and　a　pen　in　his　hand。

‘Colin；　this　is　Kay　Bawden；’　said　Tessa。　‘She’d　like　to　speak　to　you。’

Tessa　saw　Colin’s　startled　and　wary　expression；　and　knew　at　once　that　the　woman　was　a　stranger　to　him。　Really；　she　thought；　a　little　ashamed；　what　were　you　thinking？

‘I’m　sorry　to　barge　in　on　you　like　this；　unannounced；’　said　Kay；　as　Colin　stood　up　to　shake　her　hand。　‘I　would　have　telephoned；　but　you’re—’

‘We’re　ex…directory；　yes；’　said　Colin。　He　towered　over　Kay；　his　eyes　tiny　behind　the　lenses　of　his　glasses。　‘Please；　sit　down。’

‘Thank　you。　It’s　about　the　election；’　said　Kay。　‘This　Parish　Council　election。　You’re　standing；　aren’t　you；　against　Miles　Mollison？’

‘That’s　right；’　said　Colin　nervously。　He　knew　who　she　must　be：　the　reporter　who　had　wanted　to　talk　to　Krystal。　They　had　tracked　him　down　–　Tessa　ought　not　to　have　let　her　in。

‘I　was　wondering　whether　I　could　help　in　any　way；’　said　Kay。　‘I’m　a　social　worker；　mostly　working　in　the　Fields。　There　are　some　facts　and　figures　I　could　give　you　about　the　Bellchapel　Addiction　Clinic；　which　Mollison　seems　quite　keen　on　closing。　I’ve　been　told　that　you’re　for　the　clinic？　That　you’d　like　to　keep　it　open？’

The　onrush　of　relief　and　pleasure　made　him　almost　giddy。

‘Oh；　yes；’　said　Colin；　‘yes；　I　would。　Yes；　that　was　my　predecessor’s　–　that’s　to　say；　the　previous　holder　of　the　seat　–　Barry　Fairbrother　–　was　certainly　opposed　to　closing　the　clinic。　And　I　am；　too。’

‘Well；　I’ve　had　a　conversation　with　Miles　Mollison；　and　he　made　it　quite　clear　that　he　doesn’t　think　the　clinic’s　worth　keeping　open。　Frankly；　I　think　he’s　rather　ignorant　and　naive　about　the　causes　and　treatment　of　addiction；　and　about　the　very　real　difference　Bellchapel　is　making。　If　the　Parish　refuses　to　renew　the　lease　on　the　building；　and　the　District　cuts　funding；　then　there’s　a　danger　that　some　very　vulnerable　people　will　be　left　without　support。’

‘Yes；　yes；　I　see；’　said　Colin。　‘Oh；　yes；　I　agree。’

He　was　astonished　and　flattered　that　this　attractive　young　woman　would　have　walked　through　the　evening　to　find　him　and　offer　herself　as　an　ally。

‘Would　you　like　a　cup　of　tea　or　coffee；　Kay？’　asked　Tessa。

‘Oh；　thanks　very　much；’　said　Kay。　‘Tea；　please；　Tessa。　No　sugar。’

Fats　was　in　the　kitchen；　helping　himself　from　the　fridge。　He　ate　copiously　and　continually；　but　remained　scrawny；　never　putting　on　an　ounce　of　weight。　In　spite