4 breaking dawn破晓- 第23部分

For　one　half　second；　I　remembered　the　awful　moment　at　that　unspeakable　joke　of　a　wedding。　I'd　been　
so　insane　with　fury　that　I　couldn't　make　my　body　work　right。　I'd　been　trapped；　shaking　and　burning；　
unable　to　make　the　change　and　kill　the　monster　just　a　few　feet　away　from　me。　It　had　been　so　confusing。　
Dying　to　kill　him。　Afraid　to　hurt　her。　My　friends　in　the　way。　And　then；　when　I　was　finally　able　to　take　the　
form　I　wanted；　the　order　from　my　leader。　The　edict　from　the　Alpha。　If　it　had　been　just　Embry　and　Quil　
there　that　night　without　Sam。。。　would　I　have　been　able　to　kill　the　murderer；　then？　

I　hated　it　when　Sam　laid　down　the　law　like　that。　I　hated　the　feeling　of　having　no　choice。　Of　having　to　
obey。　

And　then　I　was　conscious　of　an　audience。　I　was　not　alone　in　my　thoughts。　

So　selfabsorbed　all　the　time；Leah　thought。　

Yeah；　no　hypocrisy　there；　Leah；I　thought　back。　

Can　it；　guys；Sam　told　us。　

We　fell　silent；　and　I　felt　Leah's　wince　at　the　word　guys。　Touchy；　like　always。　

Sam　pretended　not　to　notice。　Where's　Quil　andJared？　




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Quit's　got　Claire。　He's　taking　her　to　the　Clearwaters'。　

Good。　Sue　will　take　her。　

Jared　was　going　to　Kim's；Embry　thought。　Good　chance　he　didn't　hear　you。　

There　was　a　low　grumble　through　the　pack。　I　moaned　along　with　them。　When　Jared　finally　showed　up；　
no　doubt　he'd　still　be　thinking　about　Kim。　And　nobody　wanted　a　replay　of　what　they　were　up　to　right　
now。　

Sam　sat　back　on　his　haunches　and　let　another　howl　rip　into　the　air。　It　was　a　signal　and　an　order　in　one。　

The　pack　was　gathered　a　few　miles　east　of　where　I　was。　I　loped　through　the　thick　forest　toward　them。　
Leah；　

Embry；　and　Paul　all　were　working　in　toward　them；　too。　Leah　was　close—soon　I　could　hear　her　footfalls　
not　far　into　the　woods。　We　continued　in　a　parallel　line；　choosing　not　to　run　together。　

Well；　we're　not　waiting　all　day　for　him。　He'll　just　have　to　catch　up　later。　

'Sup；　boss？Paul　wanted　to　know。　

We　need　to　talk。　Something's　happened。　

I　felt　Sam's　thoughts　flicker　to　me—and　not　just　Sam's；　but　Seth's　and　Collin's　and　Brady's　as　well。　
Collin　and　Brady—the　new　kids—had　been　running　patrol　with　Sam　today；　so　they　would　know　
whatever　he　knew。　I　didn't　know　why　Seth　was　already　out　here；　and　in　the　know。　It　wasn't　his　turn。　

Seth；　tell　them　what　you　heard。　

I　sped　up；　wanting　to　be　there。　I　heard　Leah　move　faster；　too。　She　hated　being　outrun。　Being　the　fastest　
was　the　only　edge　she　claimed。　

Claimthis；　moron；　she　hissed；　and　then　she　really　kicked　it　into　gear。　I　dug　my　nails　into　the　loam　and　
shot　myself　forward。　

Sam　didn't　seem　in　the　mood　to　put　up　with　our　usual　crap。　Jake；　Leah；　give　it　a　rest。　

Neither　of　us　slowed。　

Sam　growled；　but　let　it　go。　Seth？　

Charlie　called　around　till　he　found　Billy　at　my　house。　

Yeah；　I　talked　to　him；Paul　added。　

I　felt　a　jolt　go　through　me　as　Seth　thought　Charlie's　name。　This　was　it。　The　waiting　was　over。　I　ran　faster；　
forcing　myself　to　breathe；　though　my　lungs　felt　kinda　stiff　all　of　a　sudden。　

Which　story　would　it　be？　




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So　he's　all　flipped　out。　Guess　Edward　and　Bella　got　home　last　week；　and。。。　

My　chest　eased　up。　

She　was　alive。　Or　she　wasn't　dead　dead；　at　least。　

I　hadn't　realized　how　much　difference　it　would　make　to　me。　I'd　been　thinking　of　her　as　dead　this　whole　
time；　and　I　only　saw　that　now。　I　saw　that　I'd　never　believed　that　he　would　bring　her　back　alive。　It　
shouldn't　matter；　because　I　knew　what　was　ing　next。　

Yeah；　bro；　and　here's　the　bad　news。　Charlie　talked　to　her；　said　she　sounded　bad。　She　told　him　she's　
sick。　Carlisle　got　on　and　told　Charlie　that　Bella　picked　up　some　rare　disease　in　South　America。　Said　she's　
quarantined。　Charlie's　going　crazy；　'cause　even　he's　not　allowed　to　see　her。　He　says　he　doesn't　care　if　he　
gets　sick；　but　Carlisle　wouldn't　bend。　No　visitors。　Told　Charlie　it　was　pretty　serious；　but　that　he's　doing　
everything　he　can。　Charlie's　been　stewing　about　it　for　days；　but　he　only　called　Billy　now。　He　said　she　
sounded　worse　today。　

The　mental　silence　when　Seth　finished　was　profound。　We　all　understood。　

So　she　would　die　of　this　disease；　as　far　as　Charlie　knew。　Would　they　let　him　view　the　corpse？　The　pale；　
perfectly　still；　unbreathing　white　body？　They　couldn't　let　him　touch　the　cold　skin—he　might　notice　how　
hard　it　was。　

They'd　have　to　wait　until　she　could　hold　still；　could　keep　from　killing　Charlie　and　the　other　mourners。　
How　long　would　that　take？　

Would　they　bury　her？　Would　she　dig　herself　out；　or　would　the　bloodsuckers　e　for　her？　

The　others　listened　to　my　speculating　in　silence。　I'd　put　a　lot　more　thought　into　this　than　any　of　them。　

Leah　and　I　entered　the　clearing　at　nearly　the　same　time。　She　was　sure　her　nose　led　the　way；　though。　She　
dropped　onto　her　haunches　beside　her　brother　while　I　trotted　forward　to　stand　at　Sam's　right　hand。　Paul　
circled　and　made　room　for　me　in　my　place。　

Beatcha　again；Leah　thought；　but　I　barely　heard　her。　

I　wondered　why　I　was　the　only　one　on　my　feet。　My　fur　stood　up　on　my　shoulders；　bristling　with　
impatience。　

Well；　what　are　we　waiting　for？I　asked。　

No　one　said　anything；　but　I　heard　their　feelings　of　hesitation。　

Oh；　e　on！　The　treaty's　broken！　

We　have　no　proof　—maybe　sheis　sick。。。。　

OH；　PLEASE！　

Okay；　so　the　circumstantial　evidence　is　pretty　strong。　Still。。。　Jacob。Sam's　thought　came　slow；　hesitant。　
Are　you　sure　this　is　what　you　want？　Is　it　really　the　right　thing？　We　all　know　what　she　wanted。　



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The　treaty　doesn't　mention　anything　about　victim　preferences；　Sam！　

Is　she　really　a　victim？　Would　you　label　her　that　way？　

Yes！　

Jake；Seth　thought；　they　aren't　our　enemies。　

Shut　up；　kid！　Just　'cause　you've　got　some　kind　of　sick　hero　worship　thing　going　on　with　that　
bloodsucker；　it　doesn't　change　the　law。　They　are　our　enemies。　They　are　in　our　territory。　We　take　them　
out。　I　don't　care　if　you　had　fun　fighting　alongside　Edward　Cullen　once　upon　a　time。　

So　what　are　you　going　to　do　when　Bella　fights　with　them；　Jacob？　Huh？Seth　demanded。　

She's　not　Bella　anymore。　

You　gonna　be　the　one　to　take　her　down？　

I　couldn't　stop　myself　from　wincing。　

No；　you're　not。　So；　what？　You　gonna　make　one　of　us　do　it？　And　then　hold　a　grudge　against　whoever　it　
is　forever？　

I　wouldn't。。。　

Sure　you　won't。　You're　not　ready　for　this　fight；　Jacob。　

Instinct　took　over　and　I　crouched　forward；　snarling　at　the　gangly　sandcolored　wolf　across　the　circle。　

Jacob！Sam　cautioned。　Seth；　shut　up　for　a　second。　

Seth　nodded　his　big　head。　

Dang；　what'd　I　miss？　Quthought。　He　was　running　for　the　gathering　place　fullout。　Heard　about　
Charlie's　call。。。。　

Were　getting　ready　to　go；I　told　him。　Why　don't　you　swing　by　Kim's　and　drag　Jared　out　with　your　
teeth？　We're　going　to　need　everyone。　

e　straight　here；　Quil；Sam　ordered。　We've　decided　nothing　yet。　

I　growled。　

Jacob；　I　have　to　think　about　what's　best　for　this　pack。　I　have　to　choose　the　course　that　protects　you　all　
best。　Times　have　changed　since　our　ancestors　made　that　treaty。　I。。。　well；　I　don't　honestly　believe　that　the　
Cullens　are　a　danger　to　us。　And　we　know　that　they　will　not　be　here　much　longer。　Surely　once　they've　told　
their　story；　they　will　disappear。　Our　lives　can　return　to　normal。　

Normal？　




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If　we　challenge　them；　Jacob；　they　will　defend　themselves　well。　

Are　you　afraid？　

Are　you　so　ready　to　losea　brother？　He　paused。　Or　a　sister？　he　tacked　on　as　an　afterthought。　

I'm　not　afraid　to　die。　

I　know　that；　Jacob。　It's　one　reason　I　question　your　judgment　on　this。　

I　stared　into　his　black　eyes。　Do　you　intend　to　honor　our　fathers'　treaty　or　not？　

I　honor　my　pack。　I　do　what's　best　for　them。　

Coward。　

His　muzzle　tensed；　pulling　back　over　his　teeth。　

Enough；　Jacob。　You're　overruled。Sam's　mental　voice　changed；　took　on　that　strange　double　timbre　that　
we　could　not　disobey。　The　voice　of　the　Alpha。　He　met　the　gaze　of　every　wolf　in　the　circle。　

The　pack　is　not　attacking　the　Cullens　without　provocation。　The　spirit　of　the　treaty　remains。　They　are　nota　
danger　to　our　people；　nor　are　they　a　danger　to　the　people　of　Forks。　Bella　Swan　made　an　informed　
choice；　and　we　are　not　going　to　punish　our　former　allies　for　her　choice。　

Hear；　hear；Seth　thought　enthusiastically。　

　thought　I　told　you　to　shut　it；　Seth。　

Oops。　Sorry；　Sam。　

Jacob；　where　do　you　think　you're　going？　

I　left　the　circle；　moving　toward　the　west　so　that　I　could　turn　my　back　on　him。　I'm　going　to　tell　my　
father　goodbye。　Apparently　there　was　no　purpose　in　me　sticking　around　this　long。　

Aw；　Jake—　don't　do　that　again！　

Shut　up；　Seth；several　voices　thought　together。　

We　don't　want　you　to　leave；Sam　told　me；　his　thought　softer　than　before。　

So　force　me　to　stay；　Sam。　Take　away　my　will。　Make　me　a　slave。　

You　know　I　won't　do　that　

Then　there's　nothing　more　to　say。　

I　ran　away　from　them；　trying　very　hard　not　to　think　about　what　was　next。　Instead；　I　concentrated　on　my　
memories　of　the　long　wolf　months；　of　letting　the　humanity　bleed　out　of　me　until　I　was　more　animal　than　
man。　Living　in　the　moment；　eating　when　hungry；　sleeping　when　tired；　drinking　when　thirsty；　and　running　



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—running　just　to　run。　Simple　desires；　simple　answers　to　those　desires。　Pain　came　in　easily　managed　
forms。　The　pain　of　hunger。　The　pain　of　cold　ice　under　your　paws。　The　pain　of　cutting　claws　when　dinner　
got　feisty。　Each　pain　had　a　simple　answer；　a　clear　action　to　end　that　pain。　

Not　like　being　human。　

Yet；　as　soon　as　I　was　in　jogging　distance　of　my　house；　I　shifted　back　into　my　human　body。　I　needed　to　
be　able　to　think　in　privacy。　

I　untied　my　shorts　and　yanked　them　on；　already　running　for　the　house。　

I'd　done　it。　I'd　hidden　what　I　was　thinking　and　now　it　was　too