Carlisle went to dress for his early shift at the hospital； I stayed by the river； waiting for the sun to rise。 I felt almost swollen from the amount of blood I d consumed； but I knew the lack of actual thirst would mean little when I sat beside the girl again。 Cool and motionless as the stone I sat on； I stared at the dark water running beside the icy bank； stared right through it。 Carlisle was right。 I should leave Forks。 They could spread some story to explain my absence。 Boarding school in Europe。 Visiting distant relatives。 Teenage runaway。 The story didn t matter。 No one would question too intensely。 It was just a year or two； and then the girl would disappear。 She would go on with her life she would have a life to go on with。 She d go to college somewhere； get older； start a career； perhaps marry someone。 I could picture that I could see the girl dressed all in white and walking at a measured pace； her arm through her father s。 It was odd； the pain that image caused me。 I couldn t understand it。 Was I jealous； because she had a future that I could never have？ That made no sense。 Every one of the humans around me had that same potential ahead of them a life and I rarely stopped to envy them。 I should leave her to her future。 Stop risking her life。 That was the right thing to do。 Carlisle always chose the right way。 I should listen to him now。 The sun rose behind the clouds； and the faint light glistened off all the frozen glass。 One more day； I decided。 I would see her one more time。 I could handle that。 Perhaps I would mention my pending disappearance； set the story up。 This was going to be difficult； I could feel that in the heavy reluctance that was already making me think of excuses to stay to extend the deadline to two days； three； four But I would do the right thing。 I knew I could trust Carlisle s advice。 And I also knew that I was too conflicted to make the right decision alone。 Much too conflicted。 How much of this reluctance came from my obsessive curiosity； and how much came from my unsatisfied appetite？ I went inside to change into fresh clothes for school。 Alice was waiting for me； sitting on the top step at the edge of the third floor。 You re leaving again； she accused me。 I sighed and nodded。 I can t see where you re going this time。
I don t know where I m going yet； I whispered。 I want you to stay。 I shook my head。 Maybe Jazz and I could e with you？ They ll need you all the more； if I m not here to watch out for them。 of Esme。 Would you take half her family away in one blow？ You re going to make her so sad。 I know。 That s why you have to stay。 That s not the same as having you here； and you know it。 Yes。 But I have to do what s right。 And think There are many right ways； and many wrong ways； though； aren t there？ For a brief moment she was swept away into one of her strange visions； I watched along with her as the indistinct images flickered and whirled。 I saw myself mixed in with strange shadows that I couldn t make out hazy； imprecise forms。 And then； suddenly； my skin was glittering in the bright sunlight of a small open meadow。 This was a place I knew。 There was a figure in the meadow with me； but； again； it was indistinct； not there enough to recognize。 The images shivered and disappeared as a million tiny choices rearranged the future again。 I didn t catch much of that； I told her when the vision went dark。 Me either。 Your future is shifting around so much I can t keep up with any of it。 I think； though She stopped； and she flipped through a vast collection of other recent visions for me。 They were all the same blurry and vague。 I think something is changing； though； she said out loud。 be at a crossroads。 I laughed grimly。 now； right？ Your life seems to You do realize that you sound like a bogus gypsy at a carnival She stuck her tiny tongue out at me。 Today is all right； though； isn t it？ I asked； my voice abruptly apprehensive。 I don t see you killing anyone today； she assured me。 Thanks； Alice。 Go get dressed。 ready。 I won t say anything I ll let you tell the others when you re Miss She stood and darted back down the stairs； her shoulders hunched slightly。 you。 Really。 Yes； I would really miss her； too。
It was a quiet ride to school。 Jasper could tell that Alice was upset about something； but he knew that if she wanted to talk about it she would have done so already。 Emmett and Rosalie were oblivious； having another of their moments； gazing into each others eyes with wonder it was rather disgusting to watch from the outside。 We were all quite aware how desperately in love they were。 Or maybe I was just being bitter because I was the only one alone。 Some days it was harder than others to live with three sets of perfectly matched lovers。 This was one of them。 Maybe they would all be happier without me hanging around； illtempered and belligerent as the old man I should be by now。 Of course； the first thing I did when we reached the school was to look for the girl。 Just preparing myself again。 Right。 It was embarrassing how my world suddenly seemed to be empty of everything but her my whole existence centered around the girl； rather than around myself anymore。 It was easy enough to understand； though； really； after eighty years of the same thing every day and every night； any change became a point of absorption。 She had not yet arrived； but could I hear the thunderous chugging of her truck s engine in the distance。 I leaned against the side of the car to wait。 Alice stayed with me； while the others went straight to class。 They were bored with my fixation it was inprehensible to them how any human could hold my interest for so long； no matter how delicious she smelled。 The girl drove slowly into view； her eyes intent on the road and her hands tight on the wheel。 She seemed anxious about something。 It took me a second to figure out what that something was； to realize that every human wore the same expression today。 Ah； the road was slick with ice； and they were all trying to drive more carefully。 I could see she was taking the added risk seriously。 That seemed in line with what little I had learned of her character。 to my small list： she was a serious person； a responsible person。 I added this She parked not too far from me； but she hadn t noticed me standing here yet； staring at her。 I wondered what she would do when she did？ Blush and walk away？ That was my first guess。 talk to me。 But maybe she would stare back。 Maybe she would e to I took a deep breath； filling my lungs hopefully； just in case。 She got out of the truck with care； testing the slick ground before she put her weight on it。 She didn t look up； and that frustrated me。 Maybe I would go talk to her No； that would be wrong。 Instead of turning toward the school； she made her way to the rear of her truck； clinging to the side of the truck bed in a droll way； not trusting her footing。 It made me smile； and I felt Alice s eyes on my face。 I didn t listen to whatever
this made her think I was having too much fun watching the girl check her snow chains。 She actually looked in some danger of falling； the way her feet were sliding around。 No one else was having trouble had she parked in the worst of the ice？ She paused there； staring down with a strange expression on her face。 was tender？ As if something about the tire was making her emotional？ Again； the curiosity ached like a thirst。 thinking as if nothing else mattered。 It It was as if I had to know what she was I would go talk to her。 She looked like she could use a hand anyway； at least until she was off the slick pavement。 Of course； I couldn t offer her that； could I？ I hesitated； torn。 As adverse as she seemed to be to snow； she would hardly wele the touch of my cold white hand。 I should have worn gloves NO！ Alice gasped aloud。 Instantly； I scanned her thoughts； guessing at first that I had made a poor choice and she saw me doing something inexcusable。 But it had nothing to do with me at all。 Tyler Crowley had chosen to take the turn into the parking lot at an injudicious speed。 This choice would send him skidding across a patch of ice The vision came just half a second before the reality。 Tyler s van rounded the corner as I was still watching the conclusion that had pulled the horrified gasp through Alice s lips。 No； this vision had nothing to do with me； and yet it had everything to do with me； because Tyler s van the tires right now hitting the ice at the worst possible angle was going to spin across the lot and crush the girl who had bee the uninvited focal point of my world。 Even without Alice s foresight it would have been simple enough to read the trajectory of the vehicle； flying out of Tyler s control。 The girl； standing in the exactly wrong place at the back of her truck； looked up； bewildered by the sound of the screeching tires。 She looked straight into my horror struck eyes； and then turned to watch her approaching death。 Not her！ The words shouted in my head as if they belonged to someone else。 Still locked into Alice s thoughts； I saw the vision suddenly shift； but I had no time to see what the oute would be。 I launched myself across the lot； throwing myself between the skidding van and the frozen girl。 I moved so fast that everything was a streaky blur except for the object of my focus。 She didn t see me no human eyes could have followed my flight still staring at the hulking shape that was about to grind her body into the metal frame of her truck。 I caught her around the waist； moving with too much urgency to be as gentle as she would need me to be。 In the hundredth of a second between the time that I yanked her slight form out of the path of death and the time that I crashed into to the
ground with her in my arms； I was vividly aware of her fragile； breakable body。 When I heard her head crack against the ice； it felt like I had turned to ice； too。 But I didn t even have a full second to ascertain her condition。 I heard the van behind us； grating and squealing as it twisted around the sturdy iron body of the girl s truck。 It was changing course； arcing； ing for her again like she was a mag； pulling it toward us。 A word I d never said before in the presence of a lady slid between my clenched teeth。 I had already done too much。 As I d nearly flown through the air to push her