u and Alice cheat； Rose never wants to get her hair messed up； and Esme gets mad if Jasper and I really go at it。 Life is hard all around； isn t it？ Emmett grinned at me； shifting his weight a bit so that he was suddenly poised to take a charge。 C mon Edward。 Just turn it off for one minute and fight fair。 It doesn t turn off； I reminded him。 Wonder what that human girl does to keep you out？ could give me some pointers。 My good humor vanished。 Touchy； touchy。 I sighed。 Emmett came to sit beside me on the rock。 Emmett mused。 Maybe she Stay away from her； I growled through my teeth。 Sorry。 I know you re going through a tough spot。 I really am trying to not be too much of an insensitive jerk； but； since that s sort of my natural state He waited for me to laugh at his joke； and then made a face。 So serious all the time。 Thinking about her。 What s bugging you now？ Well； worrying； really。 You are here。 He laughed loudly。 What s there to worry about？ I ignored his joke again； but answered his question。 Have you ever thought about how fragile they all are？ How many bad things there are that can happen to a mortal？ Not really。 I guess I see what you mean； though。 that first time around； was I？ I wasn t much match for a bear Bears； I muttered； adding a new fear to the pile。 That would be just her luck； wouldn t it？ Stray bear in town。 Of course it would head straight for Bella。 Emmett chuckled。 You sound like a crazy person； do you know that？ Just imagine for one minute that Rosalie was human； Emmett。 And she could run into a bear or get hit by a car or lightening or fall down stairs or get sick get a disease！ The words burst from me stormily。 It was a relief to let them out they d been festering inside me all weekend。 Fires and earthquakes and tornados！ Ugh！ When s the last time you watched the news？ Have you seen the
kinds of things that happen to them？ Burglaries and homicides My teeth clenched together； and I was abruptly so infuriated by the idea of another human hurting her that I couldn t breathe。 Whoa； whoa！ Hold up； there； kid。 rained on。 He shrugged。 She lives in Forks； remember？ So she gets I think she has some serious bad luck； Emmett； I really do。 Look at the evidence。 Of all the places in the world she could go； she ends up in a town where vampires make up a significant portion of the population。 Yeah； but we re vegetarians。 So isn t that good luck； not bad？ With the way she smells？ Definitely bad。 And then； more bad luck； the way she smells to me。 I glowered at my hands； hating them again。 Except that you have more selfcontrol than just about anyone but Carlisle。 luck again。 The van？ That was just an accident。 You should have seen it ing for her； Em； again and again。 like she had some kind of magic pull。 But you were there。 That was good luck。 I swear； it was Good Was it？ Isn t this the worst luck any human could ever possibly have to have a vampire fall in love with them？ Emmett considered that quietly for a moment。 He pictured the girl in his head； and found the image uninteresting。 Honestly； I can t really see the draw。 Well； I can t really see Rosalie s allure； either； I said rudely。 she seems like more work than any pretty face is worth。 Emmett chuckled。 I don t suppose you d tell me Honestly； I don t know what her problem is； Emmett； I lied with a sudden； wide grin。 I saw his intent in time to brace myself。 He tried to shove me off the rock； and there was a loud cracking sound as a fissure opened in the stone between us。 Cheater； he muttered。 I waited for him to try another time； but his thoughts took a different direction。 He was picturing Bella s face again； but imagining it whiter； imagining her eyes bright red No； I said； my voice strangled。 It solves your worries about mortality； doesn t it？ to kill her； either。 Isn t that the best way？ And then you wouldn t want
For me？ Or for her？ His tone added the of course。 For you； he answered easily。 I laughed humorlessly。 Wrong answer。 I didn t mind so much； he reminded me。 Rosalie did。 He sighed。 We both knew that Rosalie would do anything； give up anything； if it meant she could be human again。 Even Emmett。 Yeah； Rose did； he acquiesced quietly。 I can t I shouldn t I m not going to ruin Bella s life。 the same； if it were Rosalie？ Emmett thought about that for a moment。 You really love her？ Wouldn t you feel I can t even describe it； Emmett。 All of a sudden； this girl s the whole world to me。 I don t see the point of the rest of the world without her anymore。 But you won t change her？ I know that； I groaned。 And； as you ve pointed out； she s sort of breakable。 Trust me that I know； too。 Emmett was not a tactful person； and delicate discussions were not his forte。 struggled now； wanting very much not to be offensive。 Can you even touch her？ her ？ He She won t last forever； Edward。 I mean； if you love her wouldn t you want to； well touch Emmett and Rosalie shared an intensely physical love。 He had a hard time understanding how one could love； without that aspect。 I sighed。 Wow。 I can t even think of that； Emmett。 So what are your options； then？ I I don t know； I whispered。 I m trying to figure out a way to to leave her。 just can t fathom how to make myself stay away With a deep sense of gratification； I suddenly realized that it was right for me to stay at least for now； with Peter and Charlotte on their way。 She was safer with me here； temporarily； than she would be if I were gone。 For the moment； I could be her unlikely protector。 The thought made me anxious； I itched to be back so that I could fill that role for as long as possible。 Emmett noticed the change in my expression。 What are you thinking about？ Right now； I admitted a bit sheepishly； I m dying to run back to Forks and
check on her。 Uhuh！ Please！ I don t know if I ll make it till Sunday night。 Let Rosalie cool down a little bit。 You are not going home early。 For my sake。 I ll try to stay； I said doubtfully。 Emmett tapped the phone in my pocket。 Alice would call if there were any basis for your panic attack。 She s as weird about this girl as you are。 I grimaced at that。 Fine。 But I m not staying past Sunday。 Alice said we There s no point in hurrying back it s going to be sunny； anyway。 were free from school until Wednesday。 I shook my head rigidly。 Peter and Charlotte know how to behave themselves。 I really don t care； Emmett。 With Bella s luck； she ll go wandering off into the woods at exactly the wrong moment and I flinched。 Peter isn t known for his selfcontrol。 I m going back Sunday。 Emmett sighed。 Exactly like a crazy person。 Bella was sleeping peacefully when I climbed up to her bedroom window early Monday morning。 I d remembered oil this time； and the window now moved silently out of my way。 I could tell by the way her hair lay smooth across the pillow that she d had a less restless night than the last time I was here。 She had her hands folded under her cheek like a small child； and her mouth was slightly open。 I could hear her breath moving slowly in and out between her lips。 It was an amazing relief to be here； to be able to see her again。 I realized that I wasn t truly at ease unless that was the case。 Nothing was right when I was away from her。 Not that all was right when I was with her； either； though。 I sighed； letting the thirst fire rake through my throat。 I d been away from it too long。 The time spent without pain and temptation made it all the more forceful now。 It was bad enough that I was afraid to go kneel beside her bed so that I could read the titles of her books。 I wanted to know the stories in her head； but I was afraid of more than my thirst； afraid that if I let myself get that close to her； I would want to be closer still Her lips looked very soft and warm。 my finger。 Just lightly I could imagine touching them with the tip of That was exactly the kind of mistake that I had to avoid。 My eyes ran over her face again and again； examining it for changes。 changed all the time I was sad at the thought of missing anything I thought she looked tired。 Had she gone out？ Mortals Like she hadn t gotten enough sleep this weekend。 So what if she had？ I I laughed silently and wryly at how much that upset me。
didn t own her。 She wasn t mine。 No； she wasn t mine and I was sad again。 One of her hands twitched； and I noticed that there were shallow； barely healed scrapes across the heel of her palm。 She d been hurt？ Even though it was obviously not a serious injury； it still disturbed me。 I considered the location； and decided she must have tripped。 That seemed a reasonable explanation； all things considered。 It was forting to think that I wouldn t have to puzzle over either of these small mysteries forever。 We were friends now or； at least； trying to be friends。 I could ask her about her weekend about the beach； and whatever late night activity had made her look so weary。 I could ask what had happened to her hands。 And I could laugh a little when she confirmed my theory about them。 I smiled gently as I wondered whether or not she had fallen in the ocean。 I wondered if she d had a pleasant time on the outing。 I wondered if she d thought about me at all。 If she d missed me even the tiniest portion of the amount that I d missed her。 I tried to picture her in the sun on the beach。 The picture was inplete； though； because I d never been to First Beach myself。 I only knew how it looked in pictures I felt a tiny qualm of unease as I thought about the reason why I d never once been to the pretty beach located just a few minutes run from my home。 Bella had spent the day at La Push a place where I was forbidden； by treaty； to go。 A place where a few old men still remembered the stories about the Cullens； remembered and believed them。 A place where our secret was known I shook my head。 I had nothing to worry about there。 The Quileutes were bound by treaty； too。 Even had Bella run into one of those aging sages； they could reveal nothing。 And why would the subject ever be broached？ Why would Bella think to voice her curiosity there？ No the Quileutes were perhaps the one thing I did not have to worry about。 I was angry with the sun when it began to rise。 It reminded me that I could not satisfy my curiosity for days to e。 Why did it choose to shine now？ With a sigh； I ducked out her window before it was light enoug