same as the last�察�cold and statuelike。 But that wasn't the most troubling part of this photograph。 The
contrast between the two of us was painful。 He looked like a god。 I looked very average�察�even for a
human�察�almost shamefully plain。 I flipped the picture over with a feeling of disgust。
Instead of doing my homework�察�I stayed up to put my pictures into the album。 With a ballpoint pen I
scrawled captions under all the pictures�察�the names and the dates。 I got to the picture of Edward and me�察�
and�察�without looking at it too long�察�I folded it in half and stuck it under the metal tab�察�Edwardside up。
When I was done�察�I stuffed the second set of prints in a fresh envelope and penned a long thankyou
letter to Renee。
Edward still hadn't e over。 I didn't want to admit that he was the reason I'd stayed up so late�察�but of
course he was。 I tried to remember the last time he'd stayed away like this�察�without an excuse�察�a phone
call´ He never had。
Again�察�I didn't sleep well。
School followed the silent�察�frustrating�察�terrifying pattern of the last two days。 I felt relief when I saw
Edward waiting for me in the parking lot�察�but it faded quickly。 He was no different�察�unless maybe more
remote。
It was hard to even remember the reason for all this mess。 My birthday already felt like the distant past。 If
only Alice would e back。 Soon。 Before this got any more out of hand。
But I couldn't count on that。 I decided that�察�if I couldn't talk to him today�察�really talk�察�then I was going to
see Carlisle tomorrow。 I had to do something。
After school�察�Edward and I were going to talk it out�察�I promised myself。 I wasn't accepting any excuses。
He walked me to my truck�察�and I steeled myself to make my demands。
;Do you mind if I e over today�拭─�he asked before we got to the truck�察�beating me to the punch。
;Of course not。;
;Now�拭─�he asked again�察�opening my door for me。
;Sure�察─�I kept my voice even�察�though I didn't like the urgency in his tone。 ;I was just going to drop a letter
for Renee in the mailbox on the way。 I'll meet you there。;
He looked at the fat envelope on the passenger seat。 Suddenly�察�he reached over me and snagged it。
;I'll do it�察─�he said quietly。 ;And I'll still beat you there。; He smiled my favorite crooked smile�察�but it was
wrong。 It didn't reach his eyes。
;Okay�察─�I agreed�察�unable to smile back。 He shut the door�察�and headed toward his car。
He did beat me home。 He was parked in Charlie's spot when I pulled up in front of the house。 That was
a bad sign。 He didn't plan to stay�察�then。 I shook my head and took a deep breath�察�trying to locate some
courage。
He got out of his car when I stepped out of the truck�察�and came to meet me。 He reached to take my
book bag from me。 That was normal。 But he shoved it back onto the seat。 That was not normal。
;e for a walk with me�察─�he suggested in an unemotional voice�察�taking my hand。
I didn't answer。 I couldn't think of a way to protest�察�but I instantly knew that I wanted to。 I didn't like
this。 This is bad�察�this is very bad�察�the voice in my head repeated again and again。
But he didn't wait for an answer。 He pulled me along toward the east side of the yard�察�where the forest
encroached。 I followed unwillingly�察�trying to think through the panic。 It was what I wanted�察�I reminded
myself。 The chance to talk it all through。 So why was the panic choking me�拭�
We'd gone only a few steps into the trees when he stopped。 We were barely on the trail!I could still
see the house。
Some walk。
Edward leaned against a tree and stared at me�察�his expression unreadable。
;Okay�察�let's talk�察─�I said。 It sounded braver than it felt。
He took a deep breath。
;Bella�察�we're leaving。;
I took a deep breath�察�too。 This was an acceptable option。 I thought I was prepared。 But I still had to ask。
;Why now�拭�Another year!;
;Bella�察�it's time。 How much longer could we stay in Forks�察�after all�拭�Carlisle can barely pass for thirty�察�
and he's claiming thirtythree now。 We'd have to start over soon regardless。;
His answer confused me。 I thought the point of leaving was to let his family live in peace。 Why did we
have to leave if they were going�拭�I stared at him�察�trying to understand what he meant。
He stared back coldly。
With a roll of nausea�察�I realized I'd misunderstood。
;When you say we!�察─�I whispered。
;I mean my family and myself。; Each word separate and distinct。
I shook my head back and forth mechanically�察�trying to clear it。 He waited without any sign of
impatience。 It took a few minutes before I could speak。
;Okay�察─�I said。 ;I'll e with you。;
;You can't�察�Bella。 Where we're going´ It's not the right place for you。;
;Where you are is the right place for me。;
;I'm no good for you�察�Bella。;
;Don't be ridiculous。; I wanted to sound angry�察�but it just sounded like I was begging。 ;You're the very
best part of my life。;
;My world is not for you�察─�he said grimly。
;What happened with Jasper!that was nothing�察�Edward� �Nothing� ─�
;You're right�察─�he agreed。 ;It was exactly what was to be expected。;
;You promised� �In Phoenix�察�you promised that you would stay!;
;As long as that was best for you�察─�he interrupted to correct me。
;No� �This is about my soul�察�isn't it�拭─�I shouted�察�furious�察�the words exploding out of me!somehow it still
sounded like a plea。 ;Carlisle told me about that�察�and I don't care�察�Edward。 I don't care� �You can have
my soul。 I don't want it without you!it's yours already� ─�
He took a deep breath and stared�察�unseeingly�察�at the ground for a long moment。 His mouth twisted the
tiniest bit。 When he finally looked up�察�his eyes were different�察�harder!like the liquid gold had frozen
solid。
;Bella�察�I don't want you to e with me。; He spoke the words slowly and precisely�察�his cold eyes on
my face�察�watching as I absorbed what he was really saying。
There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times�察�sifting through them for their real
intent。
;You´ don't´ want me�拭─�I tried out the words�察�confused by the way they sounded�察�placed in that
order。
;No。;
I stared�察�unprehending�察�into his eyes。 He stared back without apology。 His eyes were like
topaz!hard and clear and very deep。 I felt like I could see into them for miles and miles�察�yet nowhere in
rheir bottomless depths could I see a contradiction to the word he'd spoken。
;Well�察�that changes things。; I was surprised by how calm and reasonable my voice sounded。 It must be
because I was so numb。 I couldn't realize what he was telling me。 It still didn't make any sense。
He looked away into the trees as he spoke again。 ;Of course�察�I'll always love you´ in a way。 But what
happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change。 Because I'm´ tired of pretending
to be something I'm not�察�Bella。 I am not human。; He looked back�察�and the icy planes of his perfect face
were not human。 ;I've let this go on much too long�察�and I'm sorry for that。;
;Don't。; My voice was just a whisper now�察�awareness was beginning to seep through me�察�trickling like
acid through my veins。 ;Don't do this。;
He just stared at me�察�and I could see from his eyes that my words were far too late。 He already had。
;You're not good for me�察�Bella。; He turned his earlier words around�察�and so I had no argument。 How
well I knew that I wasn't good enough for him。
I opened my mouth to say something�察�and then closed it again。 He waited patiently�察�his face wiped clean
of all emotion。 I tried again。
;If´ that's what you want。;
He nodded once。
My whole body went numb。 I couldn't feel anything below the neck。
;I would like to ask one favor�察�though�察�if that's not too much�察─�he said。
I wonder what he saw on my face�察�because something flickered across his own face in response。 But�察�
before I could identify it�察�he'd posed his features into the same serene mask。
;Anything�察─�I vowed�察�my voice faintly stronger。
As I watched�察�his frozen eyes melted。 The gold became liquid again�察�molten�察�burning down into mine with
an intensity that was overwhelming。
;Don't do anything reckless or stupid�察─�he ordered�察�no longer detached。 ;Do you understand what I'm
saying�拭─�
I nodded helplessly。
His eyes cooled�察�the distance returned。 ;I'm thinking of Charlie�察�of course。 He needs you。 Take care of
yourself!for him。;
I nodded again。 ;I will�察─�I whispered。
He seemed to relax just a little。
;And I'll make you a promise in return�察─�he said。 ;I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me。 I
won't e back。 I won't put you through anything like this again。 You can go on with your life without
any more interference from me。 It will be as if I'd never existed。;
My knees must have started to shake�察�because the trees were suddenly wobbling。 I could hear the blood
pounding faster than normal behind my ears。 His voice sounded farther away。
He smiled gently。 ;Don't worry。 You're human!your memory is no more than a sieve。 Time heals all
wounds for your kind。;
;And your memories�拭─�I asked。 It sounded like there was something stuck in my throat�察�like I was
choking。
;Well;!he hesitated for a short second!;I won't forget。 But my kind´ we're very easily distracted。;
He smiled�察�the smile was tranquil and it did not touch his eyes。
He took a step away from me。 ;That's everything�察�I suppose。 We won't bother you again。;
The plural caught my attention。 That surprised me�察�I would have thought I was beyond noticing anything。
;Alice isn't ing back�察─�I realized。 I don't know how he heard me!the words made no sound!but he
seemed to understand。
He shook his head slowly�察�always watching my face。
;No。 They're all gone。 I staved behind to tell you goodbye。;
;Alice is gone�拭─�My voice was blank with disbelief。
;She wanted to say goodbye�察�but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you。;
I was dizzy�察�it was hard to concentrate。 His words swirled around in my head�察�and I heard the doctor at
the hospital in Phoenix�察�last spring�察�as he showed me the Xrays。 You can see it's a clean break�察�his
finger traced along the picture of my severed bone。 That's good。 It wil