like me—avoiding the bedlam at the table—and watched them with affectionate eyes。 Her expression
clearly stated that this was her family。
All in all； it wasn't exactly what I'd been expecting from a pack of werewolves。
I spent the day in La Push； the majority of it in Billy's house。 He left a message on Charlie's phone and at
the station； and Charlie showed up around dinnertime with two pizzas。 It was good he brought two
larges； Jacob ate one all by himself。
I saw Charlie eyeing the two of us suspiciously all night； especially the muchchanged Jacob。 He asked
about the hair； Jacob shrugged and told him it was just more convenient。
I knew that as soon as Charlie and I were headed home； Jacob would take off—off to run around as a
wolf； as he had done intermittently through the entire day。 He and his brothers of sorts kept up a constant
watch； looking for some sign of Victoria's return。 But since they'd chased her away from the hot springs
last night—chased her halfway to Canada； according to Jacob—she'd yet to make another foray。
I had no hope at all that she might just give up。 I didn't have that kind of luck。
Jacob walked me to my truck after dinner and lingered by the window； waiting for Charlie to drive away
first。
〃Don't be afraid tonight；〃 Jacob said； while Charlie pretended to be having trouble with his seat belt。
〃We'll be out there； watching。〃
〃I won't worry about myself；〃 I promised。
〃You're silly。 Hunting vampires is fun。 It's the best part of this whole mess。〃
I shook my head。 〃If I'm silly； then you're dangerously unbalanced。〃
He chuckled。 〃Get some rest； Bella； honey。 You look exhausted。〃
〃I'lltry。〃
Charlie honked his horn impatiently。
〃See you tomorrow；〃 Jacob said。 〃e down first thing。〃
〃Iwill。〃
Charlie followed me home。 I paid scant attention to the lights in my rearview mirror。 Instead； I wondered
where Sam and Jared and Embry and Paul were； out running in the night。 I wondered if Jacob had joined
them yet。
When we got home； I hurried for the stairs； but Charlie was right behind me。
〃What's going on； Bella？〃 he demanded before I could escape。 〃I thought Jacob was part of a gang and
you two were fighting。〃
〃We made up。〃
〃And the gang？〃
〃I don't know—who can understand teenage boys？ They're a mystery。 But I met Sam Uley and his
fiancee； Emily。 The seemed pretty nice to me。〃 I shrugged。 〃Must have all been a misunderstanding。〃
His face changed。 〃I hadn't heard that he and Emily had made it official。 That's nice。 Poor girl。〃
〃Do you know what happened to her？〃
〃Mauled by a bear； up north； during salmon spawning season—horrible accident It was more than a year
ago now。 I heard Sam was really messed up over it。〃
〃That's horrible；〃 I echoed。 More than a year ago。 I'd bet that meant it had happened when there was just
one werewolf in La Push。 I shuddered at the thought of how Sam must have felt every time he looked at
Emily's face。
That night； I lay awake for a long time trying to sort through the day。 I worked my way backward
through dinner with Billy； Jacob； and C harlie； to the long afternoon in the Blacks' house； waiting
anxiously to hear something from Jacob； to Emily's kitchen； to the horror of the werewolf fight； to talking
with Jacob on the beach。
I thought about what Jacob had said early this morning； about hypocrisy。 I thought about that for a long
time。 I didn't like to think that I was a hypocrite； only what was the point of lying to myself？
I curled into a tight ball。 No； Edward wasn't a killer。 Even in his darker past； he'd never been a murderer
of innocents； at least。
But what if he had been？ What if； during the time I that I'd known him； he'd been just like any other
vampire？ What if people had been disappearing from the woods； just like now？ Would that have kept
me away from him？
I shook my head sadly。 Love is irrational； I reminded myself。 The more you loved someone； the less
sense anything made。
I rolled over and tried to think of something else—and I thought of Jacob and his brothers； out running in
the darkness。 I fell asleep imagining the wolves； invisible in the night； guarding me from danger。 When I
dreamed； I stood in the forest again； but I didn't wander。 I was holding Emily's scarred hand as we faced
into the shadows and waited anxiously for our werewolves to e home。
15 PRESSURE
IT WAS SPRING BREAK IN FORKS AGAIN。 WHEN I WOKE UP on Monday morning； I lay in
bed for a few seconds absorbing that。 Last spring break； I'd been hunted by a vampire； too。 I hoped this
wasn't some kind of tradition forming。
Already I was falling into the pattern of things in La Push。 I'd spent Sunday mostly on the beach； while
Charlie hung out with Billy at the Blacks' house。 I was supposed to be with Jacob； but Jacob had other
things to do； so I wandered alone； keeping the secret from Charlie。
When Jacob dropped in to check on me； he apologized for ditching me so much。 He told me his
schedule wasn't always this crazy； but until Victoria was stopped； the wolves were on red alert。
When we walked along the beach now； he always held my hand。
This made me brood over what Jared had said； about Jacob involving his 〃girlfriend。〃 I supposed that that
was exactly what it looked like from the outside。 As long as Jake and I knew how it really was； I
shouldn't let those kinds of assumptions bother me。 And maybe they wouldn't； if I hadn't known that
Jacob would have loved for things to be what they appeared。 But his hand felt nice as it warmed mine；
and I didn't protest。
I worked Tuesday afternoon—Jacob followed me on his bike to make sure I arrived safely—and Mike
noticed。
〃Are you dating that kid from La Push？ The sophomore？〃 He asked； poorly disguising the resentment in
his tone。
I shrugged。 〃Not in the technical sense of the word。 I do spent most of my time with Jacob； though。 He's
my best friend。〃
Mike's eyes narrowed shrewdly。 〃Don't kid yourself； Bella。 The guy's head over heels for you。〃
〃I know；〃 I sighed。 〃Life is plicated。〃
〃And girls are cruel；〃 Mike said under his breath。
I supposed that was an easy assumption to make； too。
That night； Sam and Emily joined Charlie and me for dessert at Billy's house。 Emily brought a cake that
would have won over a harder man than Charlie。 I could see； as the conversation flowed naturally
through a range of casual subjects； that any worries Charlie might have harbored about gangs in La Push
were being dissolved。
Jake and I skipped out early； to get some privacy。 We went out to his garage and sat in the Rabbit。
Jacob leaned his head back； his face drawn with exhaustion。
〃You need some sleep； Jake。〃
〃I'll get around to it。〃
He reached over and took my hand。 His skin was blazing on mine。
〃Is that one of those wolf things？〃 I asked him。 〃The heat； I mean。〃
〃Yeah。 We run a little warmer than the normal people。 About oneoheight； oneohnine。 I never get cold
anymore。 I could stand like this〃—he gestured to his bare torso—〃in a snowstorm and it wouldn't bother
me。 The flakes would turn to rain where I stood。〃
〃And you all heal fast—that's a wolf thing； too？〃
〃Yeah； wanna see？ It's pretty cool。〃 His eyes flipped open and he grinned。 He reached around me to the
glove partment and dug around for a minute。 His hand came out with a pocketknife。
〃No； I do not want to see！〃 I shouted as soon as I realized what he was thinking。 〃Put that away！〃
Jacob chuckled； but shoved the knife back where it belonged。 〃Fine。 It's a good thing we heal； though。
You can't go see just any doctor when you're running a temperature that should mean you're dead。〃
〃No； I guess not。〃 I thought about that for a minute。 〃… And being so big—that's part of it？ Is that why
you're all worried about Quil？〃
〃That and the fact that Quil's grandfather says the kid could fry an egg on his forehead。〃 Jacob's face
turned hopeless。 〃It won't be long now。 There's no exact age… it just builds and builds and then
suddenly—〃 He broke off； and it was a moment before he could speak again。 〃Sometimes； if you get
really upset or something； that can trigger it early。 But I wasn't upset about anything—I was happy。〃 He
laughed bitterly。 〃Because of you； mostly。 That's why it didn't happen to me sooner。 Instead it just kept
on building up inside me—I was like a time bomb。 You know what set me off？ I got back from that
movie and Billy said I looked weird。 That was all； but I just snapped。 And then I—I exploded。 I almost
ripped his face off—my own father！〃 He shuddered； and his face paled。
〃Is it really bad； Jake？〃 I asked anxiously； wishing I had some way to help him。 〃Are you miserable？〃
〃No； I'm not miserable；〃 he told me。 〃Not anymore。 Not now that you know。 That was hard； before。〃 He
leaned over so that his cheek was resting on top of my head。
He was quiet for a moment； and I wondered what he was thinking about。 Maybe I didn't want to know。
〃What's the hardest part？〃 I whispered； still wishing I could help。
〃The hardest part is feeling… out of control；〃 he said slowly。 〃Feeling like I can't be sure of myself—like
maybe you shouldn't be around me； like maybe nobody should。 Like I'm a monster who might hurt
somebody。 You've seen Emily。 Sam lost control of his temper for just one second… and she was
standing too close。 And now there's nothing he can ever do to put it right again。 I hear his thoughts—I
know what that feels like…
〃Who wants to be a nightmare； a monster？
〃And then； the way it es so easily to me； the way I'm better at it than the rest of them—does that
make me even less human than Enbry or Sam？ Sometimes I'm afraid that I'm losing myself。〃
〃Is it hard？ To find yourself again？〃
〃At first；〃 he said。 〃It takes some practice to phase back and forth。 But it's easier tor me。〃
〃Why？〃 I wondered。
〃Because Ephraim Black was my father's grandfather； and Quil Ateara was my mother's grandfather。〃
〃Quil？〃 I asked in confusion。
〃His greatgrandfather；〃 Jacob clarified。 〃The Quil you know is my second cousin。〃
〃But why does it matter w